December 2011
The life and times of ME!: A post about religion,... →
itslifesimplified:
Okay. Let’s start with the founding of this nation. We were founded based on religious freedom. Be that no religion, Christian, Jewish, Muslim… There is not supposed to be a specific religion in this country. There was also a specific separation of Church and State. For the past several years it’s…
going to world market.
But I’m leaving everything at home other than ten dollars. I’d be in trouble if I brought any more than that. I could spend my whole life savings here if I had twenty minutes unattended.
she called me out on a black joke on my facebook...
I said that I love black people and make fun of everyone and that I’m “an equal opportunity comic”. She replies with “Riiighhttt…smdh.”
If you don’t want people to make fun of you, don’t be a stupid black girl. I have NEVER seen a white person use the acronym “smh” or “smdh”. That’s a black person thing and it’s...
i'm like clorox 2.
Works for whites, but really meant for colors.
just watched a documentary on food waste and...
I’m down if anyone wants to see what we can find in the dumpster at the Whole Foods down the street. Apparently they’re one of the largest leading stores who throw away the most edible foods.
Biology Teacher: So the sperm is surrounded with glucose
student: you mean semen is like sugar?
Biology Teacher: yeah basically
me: doesn't taste like..
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
Biology Teacher:
me:
student:
me: whoops
i have a phone again.
iPhone users, especially ones that have used no other phone than an iPhone in 5 years (like me), should never try to switch to a Blackberry. It’s the worst texting experience I’ve ever had in my life.
If you see this and you want me to have your number, text me, seeing as how I have 3 contacts at the moment. No, wait. 4.
i'm dead.
Just finished my second session of bikram yoga. I died in there. Again.I kinda like it, but I mostly hate it.
I’m going again Monday.
gonna be a long day.
It’s 8:35 and I’ve been to the Apple store, the gas station, and back home. About to head up to Northpark and see if the AT&T store there is opening at 9 as opposed to 10 like the one down the street. I really wish Mom would wake up and check her Facebook. I need informationnnnnn!!!
I’m also supposed to do bikram yoga with her and my sister today. Gross again.
this is how races get stereotyped.
I know you stole my phone. You did. And you won’t respond online. Then you deleted your account. I hope you enjoy my shitty, slow iPhone 3! Didn’t do me much good, probably won’t do you much better. Maybe you can pocket $40 bucks for it. This just means that I’m gonna go buy myself a new iPhone here in an hour. Merry Christmas to me, fucker.
This is yet another result of...
everyone's making all these new years resolutions.
I feel left out. But I just don’t want to set myself up for failure by making myself a promise that I know I won’t keep.
just got home from my first bikram yoga with mom.
I think I died. It was so humid, I’m pretty sure my lungs are filled with water. And I sweat an ocean all over my mat. It was gross.
Anonymous asked: Why are you such a drunk whore?
i'm such a shit show.
So last night.
Cosmic Cafe Staff Christmas Party. Went to Panda’s and we ate the most Chinese food I’ve ever seen before. I was drinking red wine. I was getting a little buzzed so I go to the other end of the table where the kitchen people are eating. Next thing I know, there’s a tequila shot in front of me and we all take one. Then another. Then a margarita. By now I’m...
bill is going to regret ever telling me that he...
And I tend to lock myself out of my apartment at the most inconvenient times… Sorry Bill.
